Do you know where my heart is?

2007-04-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

It hasnt been good and it hasnt been well.

Too many good pple hv left my side.

I bid them well and i bid them safe.

I'm starting break and I'm starting to fall;

I just hope i can be safe and pray for my miracle.

2007-01-12T09:59:00.000+08:00

Lost in translation

Nothing much said about the past week. I hate being the person that I am. No pun intended but I hate being in the position i am right now except for a few good things in life that i hold so dear. I've been mind-blowing sick for the past few days I feel so weak. Yet a kind soul was so dear to spend time and accomadate to my impossible demands. Thanks BF, I love u..I really do.

I cant remember being so lost for a long time. I haven't had time to thing about it much. I'm just aimlessly trying to find my out of the maze that i self-created. Along the way I do get a lifesaver, but one person can only do so much. I just feel my mind is pretty messed up. Or maybe i'm just being a paranoid. I cant help thinking what people think and say about me.

As much I try to console BF of the same issues, i'm so hyprocritical of myself. I suppose I'm just denying myself to accept reality. Right now I just want to focus on my priorities. That's way more important than what anyone has to say..

2007-01-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

A brand new start..not forgetting the past..

I finally have time to sit down to update. The past few days have been quite a blur. Holiday mood just tells me to slow down and unwind. It has been a great start to the new year so far. Things have been just good. But I'm guilty for some things I have yet to do.

I just realise that Rab went on a backpacking tour and I thought she was in singapore. I missed Hammie's chalet due to Hari Raya Haji. I screwed up alot of invites for new years. But i had a great time just chilling out with The Boy at west coast park. We saw fireworks and we were just happy.

I'm still dreading school which of course i skipped today. I bloody slept the whole day. Dont mind me, I just a lazy bum. Tomorrow will be back to normal. School and training as usual. Things hasn't been great at home. I dread being in the same place as mum these days. I hate turning older. It somehow signals me to be a grown up. But that's a whole different story. Good Day pple.

sins i've done u not know off, which breaks my heart to tell u not..

2007-01-01T14:00:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! Cheers to a Great 2007.

2006-12-28T16:24:00.000+08:00

Rain drops keep falling off my head

It has been raining heavily for the past few days and it has dampened my holiday weekends as well. The mood around me is oh-so-not very good. The boy has been very hard this past few days. We cant go on having a conversation dat doesnt end in a fight. I've been very desperate that I have seek ways to silent myself from saying anything unneccesary just to avoid confrontation. And that's hard considering I'm not the quiet kind.

I'm just shocked at how much patience I have pertaining to this relationship. But I guess I try to understand things that he's going through and I just pray that God keeps me well. Sometimes when it gets it hard, I just swallow my pride and try to be happy for both our sakes. I made a vow and plan to keep it that way. I don't know if I could handle another heartbreak.

On a brighter note, New Year's around the corner and I have been looking forward to it. I love New Year's. Somehow signifies change and it's like clicking "refresh" button. It's not even New Years but I feel like i've already gone through a huge change in myself. Maybe not physical but emotional and mental aspect of it. It's really hard to explain though.

my one resolution for the new years is probably just to be happy.. that's what counts.

2006-12-22T15:37:00.000+08:00

TGIF

I'm so glad it's friday although it's just a normal day of the week, the weekend's approaching though. I think i really have been a super slacker this week. For one, I hv fail on all accounts to clock in by myself and therefore needed help. I'm close to broke and I'm missing the Boy.

As sweet and as irritating he has been up to this point I have shown no signs of a breakdown. But i have to say i finally met up with his sister. We spent our after at IKEA and queensway looking for something appropriate for his X'mas gift exchange,( it boiled down to a pair of earrings and a cigarette casing) we went for the latter. Had hotdogs at IKEA, he had two and about two refills later we were off.

Somehow we found ourselves laughing our asses of at some place,Kaki Lima playing JENGA and smoking sheesa. Food and weird name drinks came and we moved on to play Monopoly Star Wars edition and more jokes and laughter.It was nice just having him and great company.

Somehow I miss Bestie and the usual gang. I wish they could be there. But some other time yea.Thanks to my little cuzzie for the lovely tee-shirt! love you adik! Thursdays was normal except we had social touch then I was off to meet BF. I was just glad to see steph. I miss you woman!

And so that was how the week went..

my cousin bought me this.Thanks sweetie!

2006-12-18T15:46:00.000+08:00

Glad to know..

It's monday and what bums me out the most is the fact that it's term break and i'm stuck in school doing SIP. Crap, I can't wait for SIP to be over so normal time table could resume. I miss going to lectures and tutorials and I miss skipping them as well. But there's pros and cons of course.

It was about 4 days of not meeting up with the Boy but we met up yesterday. The ironic thing is how much I still miss him. I guess it hasn't come the point of love. But I have the feeling that something is amiss whenever he is not around. Poor dear, he hasn't sleep well enough becos his baby sister got admitted into the hospital. And all we did was hugged and talk about all the things he had been through when we werent together.

Sometimes I feel so undeserving of such attention yet I yearn for it. He makes me feel like I need him to be around and no matter how much i deny the fact that I want him around all the time, he's unselfish to pay me that much attention. I guess that's what's bfs are for.

Maybe we havent given it much thought but we do have that tingle feeling whenever that special someone is around. And it's when they're not around that we really feel lost.Have good week guys!

2006-12-14T21:02:00.000+08:00

Coming to a Close.Phew.

i realise that the week have passed by so quickly.It's going to be another weekend soon and new years in no time. So much reflection to be done for the past year. The highs, the lows. The events and great moments to live by. People come and go. New friendships forged and old friendships bonded. As i sat by my lappie thinking of what i should jot down on my resolutions list, I thought of the people who have an impact in my life and how i have made an impact in their lives.

I'm still bummed out over the terms that SIP students still hv to do school-time during break.Bummer.But my web layout was very much approved by the company and I'm so darn glad that it worked out. Hell yea.

Things have been fine and has it's ups and downs. I learn a whole lot about relationships this week. It was really a test to my patience but it was really something I had to go through in order to progress. I suppose learning to love someone is kinda of hard when there's so much to discover.

But today was still the best recorded slacking day to date. With just me and Fai in the lab. We were up to no good; the youtube viewings, the hollywood gossip page reading and paparazzi shots, taking short uncomfortable naps, illegal breaks for milo. haha. I did one better i camwhored and decide to have an MMS face off with the boy.

the 1st shot

Toilet shot 1

Toilet shot 2

Toilet shot 3

At the brink of boredom-Arghh!

I was really bored..

He had the same thoughts.cute.

2006-12-07T13:46:00.000+08:00

Midweek Blues.

here's the deal,
I want a piece of cake and be able to eat it. Although the saying goes otherwise.
I think my ying&yang is totally off balance. Why so? Because I can't seem have to things to be going the way I want it to be.Just before you say,"oh no,not again(because apparently i seem to be in those sticky situations one too many time)." It's different this time.
I'm just having a frustrating time trying to rationlize how in the name of the world I am going to understand my mum.

I have come up with a perfect reason as to why she's always getting mad at me. Lonliness. It's a fact but she's in the state of denial. That's one of the few reasons why I hate having a life outside of home. It just kills me having to go through rows after rows with her. It gets really exhausting having to argue over little things and then make up just to fight again.Hmph! But I suppose she's just worried that her kids won't give her the attention she needs because(reality check;) we grew up.
I'm so torn. Therefore, the Boy and me have come with a solution. We pray it works.

The past few days have been real a test to my patience. I have never known a guy who could be so super paranoid and extremely grouchy when unwell. I just keep telling myself that it's ok and patience is a virtue. As pissed as I was a times, it breaks my heart to see him so weak. But he still manage to look gorgeous. How could you be sick and gorgeous all at the same time? Cliche yet it's a known fact. I somehow realise that I could an insecure biatch. I think that's natural when u're a emotionally dependent on someone and it kills not knowing what to expect next.

But I could just be thankful and be blessed that he doesn't turn out to be one of those tear-jerkers boys who flee at when you need them most.I hate to tell myself,"I told you so."

2006-12-04T11:39:00.000+08:00

Mundane Monday.

Congrats to Tpiranhas for winning the coveted spot for POL-ITEs. We're certified GOLD baby!

My weekend was bleah. Nothing special. Missed out on the saturday BBQ, sorry girls! Other than the fact that I have been meeting up with The Boy every chance I get to, everything else was normal. Saturday was ok because mum cropped up the BBQ plans but I wasnt pissed la, just happy that I ended at WCP, midnight having macdonalds with The Boy. Time well spend joking and fooling around with what energy we had left. Bedtime was close to 430am but I was already full-blown stoned by 330am. I was knackered. But thanks sweetie for spending some mosquito-biting time with me. It was a blast.

Sunday was no feat. Woke up super early looking like a very unhappy grouchy old-hag. Binge on the chicken dish mummy cooked the day before and off to grocery shopping. Poor boy has a bad flu and headache and still manage to go to work.Before i knew it the day was coming to and an end. Dinner was the same as breakfast except I had additional mee soto before heading to Sheng Siong at my usual stall before. Bad tummy ache, bad mistake. Too much chilli burning up in my tummy.

730pm and I was off to meet up with bestie at Science Centre. Fun times. Super-mind blowing laughing and wireless session. That made up my sunday. Met up with The very sickly Boy before taking the bus home. Poor dear he looked so sick i just feel like wrapping him up with a blankie.Presistant as always I had to practically drag myself home but my heart goes out to the sick Boy.Pretty much sums up my weekend.

here' s the pics that i promised...

Click here for more!

Click here for more!

2006-12-01T10:00:00.000+08:00

The Big Day

It's well about 7 hours to our last POL-ITEs games. It's the buzz word that is on everyone's mouth. We've come so far for this and yes, the girls will be doing and giving their all. All the hardwork and dedication put in from the girls, Marli and Aisya. It saddens me how bittersweet this experience has been for me. But it's with the girls that makes more enjoyable. I wouldnt trade anything in the world for what that has been going on. Good luck to us. Enjoy girls, we deserve this one.

Yesterday was quite a day, other than the fact that mummy hasnt spoke to me. I felt a great feeling of abandonment. Be it in school or at home. I cant wait for the day to end so the Boy can cheer me up with his funny antics. Poor him, tired and exhausted from work yet he still insisted we meet because he misses me. Awww, so sweet. Fiza came over before time due and it ended up being the four of us chilling out under the void deck. After a series of jokes, doodling on notepads and extensive sarcasim, the Boy decided to head home. Thanks for the hugs and cheering me up with your flexible facial expressions, it made my day. Cheers.

2006-11-30T11:11:00.000+08:00

the birthday! Happy 21st to me!

My day couldnt hv gone any better. Other than the fact that i was sick and i skipped school just to rest at home. I was happy to meet up with the boy the night before. I swear i was missing him the whole day. And although I had my bro, his fiancee and Zaidi for prezzie shopping, I was just thinking of rushing back just see him.

Anyways, a lowdown on my birthday eve; School as usual, meet up with my bro, his fiancee and Zaidi in town to get my IPOD nano and new birkies(yea i gt it in my fv colour), dinner at restro surbaya(damn hungry and greedy), hitched a ride from zaidi back to meet up with the boy,hangout till about 11.Home sweet home.And he sang me a birthday song.awww,thanks.

I woke up the next day feeling sick and drowsy and I thought,"great wat a gd day to be sickly." But I was just very happy when the boy came over to help me upload songs into my nano. Thanks baby, my computer illiterate sweetheart. And yes i still owe him a song i supposedly suggested and had him singing along the whole day.

Nonetheless, the 3rd game of POL-ITEs went with a bang and we won with a comfortable scoreline.And everyone tried to trick me into getting SABO. LOL. i knew it!! Thanks to my secret admirer for the lovely note,hershey cookies and cream chocolate and the 100 plus. The boy missed out on the match cos something gt caught up at home. Crap. But he made up for it when me and Hafiz met up for dinner. Nothing like a gd meal with the two most prioritze boys in ur life. We had dinner and our fair share of laughs. Hafiz commented that the boy was apparently "hot stuff" haha, how ironic.

Seriously hafiz, the boy is more than just a pretty face with a super gorgeous look. He gets me ok. But it was kinda bland with my cousin. I was really hoping to see her. I miss her be it we just saw each other on sunday. But i really wanted her to get to know the boy.And she was excited to meet him. It would have been icing on a cake if she was there.

And so I had a low profile birthday with precious gifts from mummy, bro and the fiancee. But what matters the most is just being happy and knowing ur blessed, alive and well. Turning twenty-one might be a big deal but it really made me feel whole and thankful for all the that i'm blessed with. And it's sure as hell a really great way to end the year.God blessed.

watch for photos...coming soon

2006-11-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

Post Mortem - The aftermath.

Yesterday was a series of blunders and probably the worst feeling i had to go through during a game. It didn't help that I was a bit under the weather. And of course, as much as we hate to deny it there was complancency. Regardless the win and the scoreline, I wasnt as much into the game as the one against RP. I guess the sick-bug and exhaustion is starting to kick in.

Nonetheless, I was happy that he came down to watch the game and sweet enough to take me out to dinner. Nothing special yet it lifted my spirits. That's the very same reason why I am blessed and thankful to have him. I suppose there's a very rational explanation to all that has happen. He is my beautiful disaster..Thanks for keeping me warm on a very cold day.

I just pray i dont fall sick. But i'm dying to get MC.I just want him to take me to clinic and treat me like a sick person. I'm just greedy for more TLC i guess. selfish but I hv to.period.

3 Down, 2 more to Go. counting down to the Big day ...1 day to go.

2006-11-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

confessions of LoveHunter turn Love Junkie.

Do you ever get days where you just feel like everything that is happening around just seems Surreal? Or days where you just wake up and feel like you finally discovered happiness? It seems rather undeserving when such things happen when you least expect. Thus, I'm starting to pinch myself every now and then just to be sure. Always wanting to ensure that I dont get carried away too much by such words or emotions.

I'm known to be very giving and selfless when it comes to matters of the heart. Yet as I see him looking back at me I try to keep my cool. I promised myself that i shouldnt look at things a certain way or perceive a certain judgement. I just want to let things run its own course. It's weird knowing someone adores you having known that you adore them as much.

Crazy how things are.And they say,"always expect the unexpected". I pray to god that this is the blessing that is long due. I pray that he will keep me safe from harm.

2006-11-22T15:17:00.000+08:00

I believe in God and i'm blessed.Are you?

The first POL-ITES game kicked off yesterday and it was 3-0 to us against SP. Congrats to the tpiranhas for working so hard to win the game although we could have easily thrashed them.
And yes people, I scored a freaking Try for the team. Wuhoo! I was so pumped and it felt so damn good. Good start to the POL-ITES.

Good things started to happen after the game. I met up with Hafiz, Gf and the 2 IZs. That was alrite but i suppose wat really made my day was the unexpected phonecall. I wish that it would have come sooner but I suppose things happen for a reason.

I dont really know what to make do with all these feelings. But i could afford a breather. I guess all the ramblings of lonliness probably add up to this exact moment. For so long, I thought miracles dont exist but they do. And for that I thank God for I am blessed with all that I have.

2006-11-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

just how pastel can pastel be?! I'm starting to hate the term "pastel". And i'm starting to do more work than I should during SIP. Why so? Maybe i just need to focus on something more than just matters concerning me and a guy. It's getting easier to run away these days. If I feel like my heart cant take it, it's just very easy to run away.

I dont understand how some people cope with heartbreaks and having to move on time and time again. But still that dont deter me from taking risks that would eventually lead to "heartbreak". But I'm numb to that so it gets easier to move on and go to the next one that comes along.

But what does it mean when you've known each other for wat seems like eons and fate just has its way of making you bump into each other all the time? I think it's hard for me because I recalled having my silly feelings trampled and dignity stripped years back just so I could see the guy I gave my heart to confessed his love and see him walking away with your bestfriend; like a prize-trophy.Now he's back to what he claims a formal apology and to play catch up knowing that I would fall right back.

Why? Why would you do such a thing? Have u ever heard of setbacks? I have taken too many setbacks to know that I might just love you now yet you never spared a single thought for me. Why do you hold my hand when you knew I could nt hold on to it? Why do kiss me gdnight knowing I would dream about it and nt ever feel that warmth again?

I guess somethings are better left unsaid and undone.

2006-11-09T12:00:00.000+08:00

the good and the bad

and so it seems. Life has its fair share of balance, yin & yang or karma, however you wish to put it. Since the last, I have been trying to find that balance in order to stay focus day in, day out. Some may say that it must have been a miracle for things to turn out the way they are but others might just say it's pure luck or maybe sheer determination.

Now that the clouds have cleared it seems that every scarifice and standing in the rain have paid off. Having made into the Prestigous IP team, I count myself blessed. It being the first and the last before i graduate, it's bittersweet symphony for me.But the best is yet to come,more hardwork and determination is needed to be put on the Pedalstal.

And so it was, the day I saw loverboy. All the knots in my stomach seems to be kneading it's way up through my whole system. I was acting like school girl again(geez I hated that), but it seems to be the same old same old for us. Except he was less himself. He grew his hair out and his gottie looks so cute it almost seem manly on him. But nothing was worth rejoicing because we're still the same but now we just seem to drift further apart, more than we use to.

...when it gets bad i just pray and hope for the best, knowing that I have been very blessed gets me through even the hardest thresholds..

the raye madness!

2006-11-02T17:04:00.000+08:00

check this out this is quite true...

Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

NOVEMBER
Has a lot of ideas Difficult to fathom Thinks forward Unique and brilliant Extraordinary ideas Sharp thinking Fine and strong clairvoyance Can become good doctors Careful and cautious Dynamic in personality Secretive Inquisitive Knows how to dig secrets Always thinking Less talkative but amiable Brave and generous Patient Stubborn and hard-hearted If there is a will, there is a way Determined Never give up Hardly become angry unless provoked Loves to be alone Thinks differently from others Sharp-minded Motivates oneself Does not appreciates praises High-spirited Well-built and tough Deep love and emotions Romantic Uncertain in relationships Homely Hardworking High abilities Trustworthy Honest and keeps secrets Not able to control emotions Unpredictable

Sagittarius
Turn ons
Sagittarius is ba sically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with their zest and enthusiasm in life. They can bubble with excitement that can be tangible at times. And if you share same interests and hobbies then life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone goes to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

Turn offs
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction hence do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on talking about certain things that may not even interest you but it is their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the poi nt of being rude) so do not feel offended by their talks.

2006-10-31T10:52:00.000+08:00

With the festive season well on it's way on it's 8th day. I am very much happy and satisfied with everything so far. Just a little overjoyed making the first POL-ITE touch cut. There will be a second cut and i want to be in the team claiming my very own coverted spot. Hehe,SNOB! But I have to survive the mind-blowing fitness(which apparently i lost touch), the focusing, the getting of rid of the my permanent bulge.heh.

School sucks as usual. The fact that my supervisor just sprung on me that we will be working with a company.Crap.Shit.Holy Bull.Gives me a whole new perspective.I work well under pressure.Now i'm just having a hard time getting a jumpstart although it has already been a week since school started.Having a non-active supervisor sure helps!rite.

Apart from all the stress of school and touch, I am still alive and well enough to get up everyday and plough through.So kids have fun,take care and Selamat Hari Raye!Cheers.

.....counting down to the BIG DAY-30 days-

2006-10-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

i've been fairly obessed about this singer namely BUTCH Walker. He's not ur typical pop act.He's a rockstar with his own band,The let's go out tonites. Something i love about his lyrics would be his talent in putting emotions as real and raw as possible into a song. Maybe becos i've been spending too much time on my lappie all month long to discover such things.

It's just a typical tuesday.I woke up to my mum's usual morning call to list down the chores I had to complete.Bummer.After rushing through the list, i switched on my lappie and watched Tv all at the same time. That is probably my day-to-day routine. I wish could do something more productive.I'm having all this negativity that i cant shake off accumulated the more i stay at hm.

I'm starting to sense bad karma surrounding me. Just days ago, I was literally having the best moment of the year. Now i'm sititng in front of the lappie wondering what happened. How could you ever care for someone yet be so selfish? How could you tell someone you would literally give your heart and just dissapear? I still have no absolute answer to any of my impending questions.

I should just never let my guard down. The possibility of a heart break is 100%. Sometimes I wish i never caved. But when you know you've waited a long time for that moment it's impossible to turn your back. I'm still waiting to see if that moment will ever come again. Tell me, is this what love is suppose to be? Because if this is rite, I dont ever wanna be wrong no matter hw painful it gets.

2006-10-15T13:43:00.000+08:00

this is hard but someone shared some light abt the latest at training.As much as i find it hard to accept, I am not trying to deny the very fact that I will miss out on the prestigious IPs again. I suppose i had it coming. It's a choice that i made when my mother laid down her rules. For the whole month. I'm starting to go insane but it's really not that bad i suppose. Maybe she just wants to instill some sort of discipline in me and most of the time I just enjoy my life rebelliously but under this circumstance I could not say no to her.She is afterall, my mother.

But on a positive note life will be back to normal as soon fasting ends.How much do I hate life now? Very much. How much will I live to regret missing out? Forever. When you work so hard for something just to know you'll never get it, pretty much your whole system crumbles. But when you're just numb to so many setbacks you know how to handle it.It gets easy after awhile.

Cheers to counting down the days to absolute freedom and being caged up all day. Cheers to the new school semester..

2006-10-12T11:52:00.000+08:00

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul,
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments is the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-william Henly-

2006-10-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

Weird things happen when you least expect.I'm starting to have RUGBY SEPARATION anxiety..Considering that i'm away on the Mum-ban-training hiatus. But i must admit she hasnt been subtle about being nice to me. I guess my mum's cool that way.

I still feel bummed out for not coming down to watch the semis at turf. Woke a wee bit too late to get there.And last week i had to refused marli to play a game, i feel like i'm letting everyone down. How the hell did i turn into this unknown creature overnite.

As much as i feel bad and miserable some good things have happened.Like getting bestie his Zippo on his birthday and gt him a cake for his birthday.Like getting to know someone and it feels like he's my soulmate, too early to say anything though.

Nonetheless,with me counting down the days to getting my normal life back on track.I'm just anticipating..

2006-09-27T12:19:00.000+08:00

my days have been outnumbered. Due to the fasting month i have been confined to the perimeter of my house.Thanks mum.I have been forced to resigned my fate to daily housechores, night prayers, fasting(of course),cleaning and cooking for everyone. Yes, true to itself I am officially the maid of the month.

It's definately far off compared to the usual me.NO TOUCH,NO TRAININGS!NO LATE NIGHTS!I just keep telling myself that I only have to go through this temporary setting till after Raya. Thanks mum. Well if u asked me, it's better than nothing. For a while, mummy dearest have been keeping her part of the bargain therefore i have to keep my end of the bargain.

A big occasion coming up soon. I'm trying to plan a dinner for Hafiz's birthday.So far, not so good.Considering that he doesn't read my blog,I could tell everyone the big plan i have so far. Which is none.I only have a guest list that is if everyone decides to come.Hmm..I'm clueless and everyone knows that I'm bad at organizing stuff.

let's just hope and pray for the best.Keeping fingers crossed.**

2006-09-06T13:14:00.000+08:00

I should've just shoot myself for doing what I did. Couldn't believe it could happen but it did.The one thing i've always wanted to tell but given the chance, I caved.

Thank god exams are over.Everything has suddenly become slow.Even waking wake up is like a miracle.I have decided to soak myself in life's miracles. Like how u sleep through the dark and waking up with the sun shining on your face.I feel the need to slow down a little unfortunately not everything is on my side.

I discovered that i'm becoming more fragile.I use to be very aggressive and god knows i was going places.These days i just go with the flow,I stop checking my mobile to see if i have missed calls or messages when it doesn't ring.It scares the hell out of me when someone asks me out on a date because i never get nervous around guys(they are the next best thing to tampons;for me!).

Safe to say..I have stopped caring. Stop caring about the big things in life. I pay attention to details. Like having chats with mum in the middle of the nite when we can't sleep. Taking extra care of the house so mum knows i cleaned it.Like stop depending on my buddies to chill out because i know they need to spend time doing their own stuff.

At some point, people have to learn to care and pay attention to details.Not everything is about us.When you slow down you see the world and your life clearly. U then begin to appreciate the finer things in life.Things that you never knew you had or things you never knew you could do.
That's the best feeling you could feel. Cheers!

2006-08-21T10:11:00.000+08:00

Hope is a wishful thinking. At times people hope knowing there won't be any but they call it their saving grace. Hope makes you feel better knowing the worst is yet to come. Just like the calm before the storm. Truthfully, i am afraid to hope. And so i dont, i stopped hoping.That way i am always prepared if and when the storm approaches.

I would be what you call a drifter.I have a drifting soul and it's old. People might never notice but I am invisible. Sometimes i wish it would stay that way.Looking from the outside.But then that would never be the case.

I just realize that happiness lies within oneself and how you see it through your eyes..I sat down just the other day and my family just exudes happiness but my heart just cries..I wish i could just stand in the middle of the roomful of people screaming on top of my lungs that i need someone.The funny thing is people don't see how i see myself..

They choose to believe what they see.I am my own muse that cries beneath her laughter and laugh underneath her tears.I am the master of my destiny and the captain of my soul.....

2006-08-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

i wish it never had to come to this.I'm so bummed out over everything.It's quite a pain trying to keep a positive outlook over everything against all odds.For well over 4 months i have tried to avoid the shindics of having any intentions of having a relationship.Unlike pple around me,i'm one of the unlucky bastards that can never attract a guy with just her mere physicalilty what more personality.As painful as i find it ,i just cant pretend to be happy.It is sucking the life out of me!

I had mix reviews about my nite out last nite.Some parts were fun and some parts just wished i was at home sleeping.It was a nite out at MOS with steph, marli,asrul and steph's friend(i sweared he was outcasted by us!).Nonetheless,amongst all the pushing at shoving at smoove, i was up to my usual partying antics.I spend almost the whole nite dancing by myself,checking out guys,teasing marli with her all-time fav dance move.Me and steph had a ball,asrul was dancing but at times only.Weird ppl danced with me.it's just one of those off-nites for me.Not quite enjoyable really.But if anything made the nite,it was bumping into Zaidi my bro's mate.He look so cool with his newly shaven cut.I sweared if i had it my way we'd bumping and grinding.Hehe.Nite ended soon after.After much sleep,i'm on the lappie writing an entry..cheers to a good day!

2006-07-28T16:45:00.000+08:00

***Do you know what vibe guys get from you?***
IMPULSIVE DARLING
You're always the life of the party! Once they get to know you, guys love your fearlessness. But some of them (especially the shy kind) may be a little overwhelmed by all that outgoing energy right off the bat. Once in a while, a simple "What's up?" is your best opening line.
Do you know what vibe guys get from you?

http://quiz.ivillage.com/cosmogirl/tests/August2006_Signals.htm

2006-07-28T10:30:00.000+08:00

the funniest thing happened.I'm somehow unfazed by my own emotions.Maybe i'm dead inside. I would like to feel something for whatever is happening,i just cant though.Yesterday was probably the most daft day of my whole week,forget recaps.I must have tried to kill myself unconsiously.Dont get me wrong i'm not suicidal,it's just that exhaustion has got the best of me.I almost tripped myself to death a few occasions while making my way home.

Heard i got into the NTL team,skipped training for the baby thingy.I hate family gatherings.Kills my mood.I refuse to submit myself to family naggings about how i should do things a certain way and i am most definately not going to cave in.Cheers to a great weekend...

2006-07-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

Chaos rules my mind!

Great week yet full of chaos and panic attacks. Everything else seems very disorganized.I look dysfunctional.The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that i could still sleep on any terms.Be it in the library or in a small cramp confinement of the train seat.I'm becoming more passionate about playing touch.I have since given up on the fact that i have to find love to make my life complete.That has been proven and yet it would be nice if it was otherwise.The whole future thing has been bugging me even in my sleep..I have to bloody clear my papers and projects! I want to GRADUATE!

I miss hanging around the one person that i use to hangout with all the time. My dearest Rab, a big shoutout to her:HAPPY 22nd Birthday girlfriend.I have to stop being busy and start spending more time with her. I miss all out lunching and retail theraphy sessions.It's hard when the person u treasure most start to fade because u're just to busy to let her into life...

2006-07-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

Pictures says a thousand words...

a new addition to the family..

me,supi and aini at Shine Touch Carnival

Supi getg Soaked

me and steph after touch clinic

Camwhore Partners in Action

2006-07-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Confusion sets in yesterday.Couldnt come to terms what my emotions were when we said our goodbyes.U love me,you love me not.After a long time of avoiding all the drama it happened again. A neverending cycle of roller coaster emotions.Why does it always happen when we meet?I thought we could be friends,i thought i got over you but why do u always make me feel the way i feel?I was fine after the last time now i feel i need you more.I hate my guts for being jealous that u're dating someone..I hate what pple say, like i couldn't be more desperate when i'm trying hard to be happy for you.I hate playing mind games with you.I hate having to know that no matter what i would catch u when u fall.Stop giving me hugs when you know that only makes things worst.Dont do the things that u do in front of friends because I hate the way it makes me feel when they smile at me.What saddens me is not being to enjoy the simple pleasures in life with you,because you that we could never be just friends not now not ever.

2006-07-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

Pysche Up!

Monday was fine.Just the usuals.School followed by training.Today was ok as well.Clocked in quite a bit of sleep considering it's skipping-lectures day.PST ended early due to the quiz.i had mixed reaction from a bunch a guys from wearing my "I love MED students" tee.It's ironic how pple will spit opinions from something dats emblazoned on ur chest.Nontheless,i had a good day and tomorrow would be better.Touch Clinic at TurfCity with the NZ Acad.Yay!

Back to something less normal...I couldnt stop hearing or reading about the number of pple who having love crisis.Me being a hopeless romantic(i jump at every opportunity of having relationship),have been trying to avoid the whole territory concerning Love or attraction to the opposite sex.Alas,i have been thinking about it.But not enough to persuade me to go into it though.Shit happens!

2006-07-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

Forza Azzurris.

I'm so elated Italy won.Although the bloody commentor made Francesco Totti invisible, I was quite proud of the Azzurris.Has been a while since they won something prestigious against France since their last finals at Euro when France won. The irony is in six weeks the Italian stallions are going to be up against France in their bid for the Euro 2008 campaign.Names to watch out for would be Grosso and Materrazzi although i heard the latest scandal was Cristiano Ronaldo wanting out of Man utd following the infamous Rooney send-off,the english hooligans are gonna have a field day with him!Advice to him:Good luck buddy you're gonna need it cos no one's gonna pay for ur ticket out of fergie's den,not even Real Madrid.

Freezing is an understatement.I'm in IA and the weather has been icy cold since the Finals this morning,thunder and lightning.Still i plough my way to school knowing i'll be the only walking zombie in class since my partner is down with fever.Get well soon Fai!And so i end with a high note,looking forward to training later.I'm quite amazed i could write a soccer review never occured i had in me.Or maybe it's just the Italian charm.Forza Italia!Good Bye World cup 2006,hello EPL and La Liga.

2006-07-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Tired.Beat out.Still in high spirits to watch the Finals.Cheers to Italy!A deserving jubilation before the party begins.New Boots are good enough.Research and programming sucks.I'm definately in need of TLC.Anyone?

2006-07-09T12:04:00.000+08:00

Hurray it's a new day.Mummy promise me new boots today.A perk me up today:I change the blogSkin!Somehow that's a good feeling of accomplishment.Tata!

2006-07-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

U are what u make urself to be.

I have this funny feeling in my head and it has been bugging since i could remember.No updates.Same old same old.I thought with more involvement i would be able to feel a sense of fulfilment.I guess wrong.The same playlist have been playing on my lappie and it seems rather cloudy today.I cant believe i actually spend the whole day today doing god-knows-what.

Nothing to look forward to this weekend other than family outings and more family outings.It's a wonder why I'm the only "young adult" in the family out with the Oldies all the time.They ask the same question all the time,"adik,u no life ah?How come always hanging around with ur mum?" I have gotten numb and therefore have no interest when the same question pop up...simple and easy..silence is Gold!

Comfort zone aside i have distance myself from the guys for quite awhile.No apparent reason why i should make the effort when all i'm good for are "nurul,i need a favour ah...".Sometimes i choose to deny that very fact but it's inescapable.

Looking forward to occupy myself in as many touch events as possible.The only way to keep me sane.Stop thinking that I'm a lone bugger..Guess all i want now are material comforts.Love is secondary and so is company....

2006-07-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

Words are sometimes so twisted pple are often fooled by it.Long haitus from blogging have brought me back here and the urge to fill my life with words-not the twisted kind. My past week has been bitter-sweet...From the financial woes, lack of motivation,mindful issues and trying to pick myself up from being a sadis...

Friday was a feel good day for me,missing trainings on thursday i had to make up for lost time.But makes me happy was spending quality time with pple i treasure...snippets from my food binge with the girls before light training at padang:

me and fizah

dee and fai

fizah and dee

dee

Fizah's birthday Card By Us

Birthday Girl baring gifts

food we had after Ben and Jerry's ice cream

Saturday was a mono day for me...nothing special just the usual chores and watching soccer with my brother..was glad we did that.I'm so thankful for world cup it does bring pple together..ALthough i did predict that Brazil would get knock out before finals...too bad!

Sunday was Lion Red's touch carnival..great day and i'm proud of the girls..After a long day sweating under the scorching sun at Bukit P. field, showered at my cousin's and headed to Al-ameen for dinner with Steph and Marli..legally blond followed through den i was floating in Lala land...zzzzzz

Monday,what seemingly looked like a happy day turns out to be a wreck.Other than the fact that everyone who when to LR was exhausted,somehow it has become a routine to make coach angry.I dont even know what is gg thru the girls' mind...one person can't possibly make a change and i've sworn to not be responsive until pple have woken up from dreamland..watch grey's anatomy and what meredith said before the closing scene hits me..."truth and honestly over the thruth, Truth Hurts,so pple lie"....

2006-06-27T15:53:00.000+08:00

Monday's Chaos

I really cant stop to think where do i get the strength to attend training and school after 4 days of insufficient sleep,rest,water and everything else in between. I must admit the signs are starting to surface...the runny nose,the sore throat,the frequent dizzy spells and not able to breathe properly.I was really dissapointed in myself for not hustling through fitness.It really has come to my attention that i have not been doing enough.And not mention the frustration and tension that had everyone on each other's nerves espcially coach hershey.

If that's not enough i still have freaking double bills to pay.I've used up all my cash reserves and i'm desperate need for a lifejacket. Maybe the great part about being single is the fact that you could do your stuff at your time and space without someone breathing down your neck.

Good news that at least put a smile on my face would be me passing my ICA paper although i fail DMSD and getting a job to finally lift me out of the cashless pot-hole!Argghh..i'm still deprived from sleep...

2006-06-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

Brand new school day

Yay, term break is finally over.It's back to school today! Cant wait to see my classmates and get on with school stuff. I just got a green light from Wak Min to go for job interview at Fish & Co.

My last few days was very exhausting and very fun. Rugby Camp was great. Got to mingle around with the freshies and the chance to bond with the team. And what better news than Us beating the SRC freshies at our friendly touch game.Hurray!

My nephew's birthday BBQ was a success.But i got pretty sick of the food considering i had BBQ at camp the nite before and the morning after.Anyways thanks to Sya and Stephie for keeping me awake,you guys crack me up.A record of more than 24 hours without sleep + exhaustion + u guys = Cukoo Me!

The best highlights of my term break was definately the Peterpan Showcase at HRC the Best for last!I'm still not over that...ARGHHHH!I really never thought i would totally be into them and their music but after the performance which was fantastic and crystal clear vocals courtesy of the Hunkalicious Ariel,I must admit..I'm a convert to their basecamp!The showcase was over my expectations and it left a mark deep down. Soulful music and heartful lyrics?Who could beat that....all I have to say is GO INDO! I'm so indo-crazy that i have started to speak the language... just ask Supi,my nongkrong Club member,haha...makasi ya supi udah mau jadi teman aku ama masuki club nongkrong aku,aku suka banget!....*our chant:1,2,3...NONGKRONG!

For more satisfaction or if u would like to feast ur eyes on my adventures,i would be putting the pics up soon...till then cheers!

2006-06-13T11:10:00.000+08:00

No more Love Shit!

I've been receving feedback from my dearest SUpi that i should stop talking abt my lame love life in my BloG. And so this entry is a tribute to my touch girls especially Supi who has been my faithful online buddy..Love u Supi!

I had the probably the best workout during training yesterday and was glad to see all the girls. The coaches had their ways with us and i really needed the workout. So no complains. I really feel for the freshies knowing they wouldn't expect training to be that tough 2 months in. Nonetheless, I survive! Yea..(*doing her victory dance)People might think i'm crazy to be working out even when i've been hit by the flu bug but the truth is i just needed to distract myself...MOving on..

Had dinner with SUpi,aZ and YAm at the void deck opposite bubble tea.It's been a while since we did that. A little chat and enjoyed bubble tea with no pearls(sucks!) not to mention Tom yam noodles..hehe..happy man!But so sad cos i had to make the journey home by myself.BooHoo!

Alas,a fulfilling day of exhaustion and satisfaction...Tpiranhas Woosh!

2006-06-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

Post Term test

It's finally over and i'm well on my to celebrations.Nothing could be better than celebrating post term test with the start of the world cup.Champiole..

Thursady saw me hanging out with Mr A at holland village starbucks with Huda.Although i had two papers left to go i made time to go gyming with Steph and an early dinner with Marli. Had so much fun laughing our heads off on the way home. Marli has a new talent i just discovered..hehe..nose suction! heh.Well,thanks marli and steph for the company till city hall.

Nonetheless, i head back home,showered and headed off to holland village.I did like two things at the same time,enjoying company and studying at the same time. I have to somehow try not to think abt being close. Too close for comfort makes me feel i shouldnt be there.And it increases the vunerability.

Finally,Friday came and was sad to hear ang moh flying off to Bali,shit! If it wasn't for term test and lack of financial assistance i would be busking in the Bali sun. It was like a strike for me cos Hafiz when off to KL in the evening.Crap.So i was left all by myself and hanging out with the 3 A's...Aidil,asrul and a'an...

Saturday...boring day...saw my cute nephew,somehow he made my cold and my bad mood dissapear..Usual day with mum..

Sunday morning was bad but knowing i had a great sleep and knowing that someone cares i was well on my way.Did laundry and slack through the rainy day..Met up with the three A's again.Great adventures from beach road to bencoolen...ate tang yuan and chicken cutlet with rice,damn syiok! hehe. Somehow,what did it was the talk with Asrul..

I know i shouldn't put things in my head but he somehow he made me believe that somethings are possible if only i was going to give it a try. It got me thinking and i suppose that good things should just wait a little more. It'll probably for the best or would it?

Somehow i'm envious of my friends,those busked in Love.I'm hoping my time will come..maybe it's just there waiting for it to knock on it's door,but somehow i'm tired of getting the door slammed on my face...

2006-06-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

term test week

I really feel sucky today..I'm confident of doing badly for today's papers..
Either ways thanks to Fizah for all her selfmade notes and Fairuz for her company,studying with me at Level 5 library...Thanks girls..couldnt have done it without u girls..took a photo of the girls..here they are..left-right:Fai and Fizah

Yesterday i bought a fox sweater..hehe..very cute..here's my attempt at taking a shot of the new sweater...

anyways was very glad to see someone yesterday..apparently it become like a reunion thingy because somehow the old farts were there and a friend i gt to know way back was there as well..
dont ask me,it's complicated..

I'm just happy that these days we talk all the time..I heard he's trying to get over someone and i just want to help him through it..Very excited, this month it's he's 21st birthday and Fizah 22nd b'day...Yay..till then, Ciao!

P/s: To my dearest sims freak...i really hope to see u and do talk sometime soon..Miss u freak!
u know who u are...hehe..

2006-06-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

Check this out out of boredom i actually did a real life quiz on "how do guys see you?"
and this what i got out of mine...

You're the girl that every guy wants, but thinks he can't have. You have such a confident way about you -- and it's a major turn-on to guys. But sometimes, because of your secure stature, guys have a hard time approaching you. They either think you're not interested or they're scared of being rejected by someone so amazing. There's nothing wrong with a flip of the hair or a wink of an eye every now and again, but make sure you're doing it in a way that assures them you want to be approached--because we know you do.

Somehow what's been tabulated is true.Probably dats why i have a hard time when is comes to matters of the heart.

2006-06-04T01:37:00.000+08:00

today would probably mark the best in my week...
I never really thought i would spend almost the entire day with him.
I mean dont get me wrong,i thought that it would just be a normal outing.
Somehow at some point things really gt weird for me..

He seem rather "close", u could practically see it in his body language..
Are we flirting or am i reading too much into it?
He was rather protective at times like the way he would stand right behind me,
and pulling my hand so i get close to him while queing for the bus..
Sentosa is definately god send..Thanks guys(Asrul,Farhan,Is and bro and Mr A).
You guys rock!

I just wish i could be the one to save him from drowning.
Wish i could be the one he shows affection for,
the one who'll see him through and the one who he's looking for.

Probably he'll never think of me as an option,that's why he never looked
at the person standing next to him..never look my way..
For some reason i believe i'm gonna end up looking into an empty can..

Good weekend and cheers!

2006-06-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

this just in, it sounds kinds depressing..

But i just read two blogs back-to-back,

and somehow both reflects on people's death and passing on...

makes me think that we're humans and it's just a matter of time..

My sincere heartfelt to their families...

2006-06-02T12:51:00.000+08:00

i'm really starting to panic.
i have been very complacent abt coming late.Therefore, i have emails in my inbox confirming that i would be debarred over extensive lateness if i refuse to comply.
What irritates me is the fact that i'm never able to make it although i woke up super early.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe i should just resolve to waking up two hours before hand.
So glad i have term test.Will give me a few weeks to psyche myself.
I will Not Be Late!!

I have decide to resigned my fate to look for odd jobs to fend for myself.
Ok not really that,i need money to travel.
I have been stuck in singapore for ages.
i need to go somewhere.
I have come up with Bali,a tropical paradise.
Read: SUN,Fun,Party,Men,Booze and more Fun!
What more could i ask for?
Oh yea i need friends to come with me.Dumber.

I was out yesterday with the boys.
I havent seen them in a while nontheless i was happy.
Term test next week.I'm on to it.
trying hard to be optimistic.Will see.

2006-05-28T11:13:00.000+08:00

i think i take happiness for granted. I used to have so much of it,brimming full and yet it was never enough. I owe it to myself for not being contented with what i have. But i had to learn it the hard way. Now that i'm older and leading life just so i could move on, i realize i'm tad bit contented with everything. Even the little most possible joy could make feel like i won a million bucks..Like yesterday, a guy was smilling at me while i bought milk at Esso(i was in my pyjama bottoms and tee shirt) and my heart skipped a beat. That really made my day. Even things like my mum asking me out would cheer me up any day. I suppose i have really evolve into someone who wouldnt let anything dampened her.But at some point i really do feel i'm living under a scrunity of someone's microscope.But moving on, i'm really looking forward to term test. Yay! It might sound lame but i'm enjoying the very fact that i enjoy studying.DArn should have been more optimistic when i was in second semester. It's raining again,that's two weekends mind you.

I 'm still bloody pissed at the EX. a message to him: Stop bloody raining on my parade! You're not allowed sympathy from me. And stop blaming others for the very fact that u're a failure. Dont even think that the world evolves around u because it doesn't.I wish people would do something about their issues or just move on. Apparently people dont that's why we're humans. i have never regretted anything but it seems like if i don't people might think otherwise...I give up,go figure. Good weekend and cheers!

2006-05-21T12:13:00.000+08:00

Sunday morning!

I'm having such a great weekend.Things are back to normal with me any mummy dearest.Somehow no matter how much we fight and hate each other i still love her and her crazy antics. Great movies are released over the week and i'm hating myself for not trying hard enough to go see any.I guess i'm just waiting for an invite. Had a weird friendster mail from mr"A" yesterday.It's so funny how he decided to mail me instead of SMSing.Surprisingly i'm happy to get that mail from him.At first i was being cynical but i realise i missed going out with him,like just the two of us.Ok enough about that.

My spirits are dampened due to the rain cos i'm suppose to go down town with mummy but she just took some muscle relax pills and is prolly travelling through parallel dimensions as we speak.Hope to go out somewhere today, i really wanna go KINOKUNIYA to get a book. Plus, i need to spend the voucher my bro's fiancee gave me.

*starts singing....
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you

2006-05-17T20:57:00.000+08:00

Updates

Sunday was nothing but a blur really couldn't wait for monday to come...was looking forward to school and seeing my friends..looking forward to training....

monday was great though a bit tiring, training was exhilarating...great turnout 50 girls,not bad. Home, ate dinner, watch the final episode of Dia..got interrupted by ang moh. When online around 12 plus to do some java well nothing gt fully done..slept at 1 plus - long sleep class was at 11am the next day...

Tuesday was a bit relaxed although the exhaustion from monday started to kick in. All i did was moped all day and tried to survive till 7pm.Skipped two lectures,now i have to catch up for quiz. Ramen session with Dee den Fairuz and Carole join.Lecture.Class till 7pm.Plaza Singapura,LJS dinner with Hafiz,cuzzie,is and Bubu.Home.SHOWER.laundry(i have no idea why,thanks mum!).Stayed up till 3 plus am to do presentation slides.

Wednesday early day class at 8 am. Woke up at 6am. Done and relieve of the presentation for assignment.Slagged at the library with fairuz.Lecture by KumBar(yes or no ah?).Lunch at designer pad...spicy lunch.Got shooed out of mobcomp lab(no free access yet).Panic attack for misplacing my Razr V3 in the toilet,phew!Lucky me.Library books.Bitching session.TM with fairuz,btw she bought a really nice bag at BUM.Home.

KumBar the Man in Lecture

Fai trying to Focus

Me Monkeying around

2006-05-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

Me+Steph+BBQ chicken rice=MonKeys
ME and SuPi@ SMU ToucH
Steph and me After dinner@Marina Loft

WeeKend Satisfaction
I had a super fun time at turf city-SMU presents Rolling Good Times TOuch. It's been such a while since we had a touch carnival.Was so glad most of the peps in the touch community there.I had a super great time with the girls and fooling around like nobody's business.MAde fun and fool around with Coachie(she named her mix-team NIftyterrfic) and her other team(maiNatsPayne-my nuts Pain,get it?!).It was so hilarious i tell u..

And to make up my day I had Dinner with Mr "A", Asrul aka SAMOA and fARhan and nt to mention Stephie. Was so damn happy to see him, he look so cute la, i could just eat him. I admit that i might sound abit repulsive but it's a fact! I was just like staring him straight in the eyes like the whole time.But den again me being me, it will always be one of those superficial thing.

We decided to hang out at the steps facing esplanade and steph had her Hot Fudge Sundae...the whole time she kept count of how many "Siak" i ended my sentence with. And if i could'nt hold it, I was told to do jumping jacks which of course i never gt to doing.At 1010 we headed home. Was very glad to see my cousin,I miss her so much man. To ADEK Happy Belated 17th Birthday hor!Ah...home sweet home...

2006-05-10T01:00:00.000+08:00

Me and Adam
Azlina Senior and Me
heh.ADam and Stephie
Cheese!
Steph + ME = RASCALS

-----MArli's Party at ATTICA 29 April 2006----

A fun filled and crazy nite except we could never really get shots of the birthday girl herself...Cheers!

2006-05-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

All worn out

The school week has been wearing me down. I get tired as soon as i set my foot home. This week has been a bit more tiring than the last, especially with all the tutorials and lectures going on. I have yet to find myself adapting to my timetable. Waking up super early to rush for 8am classes are not fun because there's nothing you would look forward to at the end of the day. Tuesday started out just fine, when for CDS till 7. Had dinner with stephie and lifeguard. Lifeguard totally didn't live up to what he was over the phone. Thank god steph was there. But as i suspected, he wouldnt want to have anything to do with me anymore after that. The phonecalls and text messages have faded. And so did my interest.

Wednesday to Friday was abit vague because i just wanted the week to end as quickly as it has started. Thursday's touch clicnic for the freshies were fun. The freshies seems to be having fun. I'm still anitcipating when the number starts showing.Lifeguard decided to finally talk to me on Thursday although i felt really great to have Hamzah call the night before. For a while, i thought i couldnt have anyone to talk to on the same wavelength. Lifeguard is getting on my nerves. Just get off my back will u? Looking forward to meeting Hafiz for the weekend, i guess my week would not be complete if it's without him. Always the crazy bunch who'll make me laugh. I miss hanging out with the guys. I really hope tomorrow will make me look forward to the week ahead.

I realise that at times my selfishness doesn't get me anwhere.I realise that most of the time it gets the best of me. Why do i sleep thinking tomorrow needs a better agenda, why cant be optimistic?

2006-05-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

My day officially started with me cleaning up the house and heading out to teach tuition there after. Accompanied my mum and my aunts to see a relative at the hospital.Shopped at jurong point and a scrumptious dinner followed by a trip to see my nephew.Just when i thought everything was gg waywards,i still have to go out with mummy tomorrow again...

Was really glad to see my darling nephew just now..he grew abit since the last i saw him.Apart from the full tummy i really had a great time with all my aunts and my cousins.Cant wait till tomorrow..too bad my intial plans got cancelled was really looking forward to spend sometime with someone..but no rush we still have other days to make up for that..i'm going to doze off any minute now..just recalling what happen at attica...total chaos and was really funny to see birthday girl bouncing around after getting high,she actually knock me over a few times and even have the courtesy to apologise..cute la she..hehe..Thanks to steph for being there..really had fun...

2006-04-30T12:01:00.000+08:00

My Weekend Blast

I really had a weekend blast. I couldnt really put to words how it was but i'm going to try.Yesterday started out pretty usual.I was anticipating and excited to go meet up with steph to go party.But there's a twist. I received a text from Mr "A" asking me if i was going to hangout with the guys.You cant believe how happy i was to hear from him.And so at that point i even thought of not going Attica to celebrate Marli's birthday.But i pulled through.I made my way down to town to chillout with the guys and waited for darling Steph,who was late! Was really glad to see Hafiz(damn bugger i like ur new shoes!),Adhwa(congrats on the job),Is(dumbo in love),Wak min(i love ur ipod). Shortly after that,i received another text...confirming that he was making his way down town.Den i saw him....for a moment i actually could feel my heart thumping hard..He looked oh-so-gorgeous in his rugby jersey and white bermudas...Not to mention i'm wearing white as well.He was so cute..but when steph came in her get-up he looked a bit pissed cos he knows i was going off ,it didn't seem rational for him to come down to see me leaving cos we prolly had this unsaid agreement to hangout. I felt so guilty i really wanted to stay but i couldnt pass up a night out with Steph and to watch marli get drunk...revenge is sweet!He was on my mind the whole time..I couldnt believe it.

Headed to Bungee bar to meet up with Ad and Ju.Saw Trev..he looked so sleek(his hair).hahaha..funny la.Took abt an hour before marli gt her arse down to bungee bar. After marli ploughed down her 4 shots we made our way down to Attica was so glad to see the old farts...but what i thought was gg to be a fun nite turns out other wise.I felt really bored halfway through.Guess i was tired but i boogey down till 3am plus the occasional visits to the toilet with Steph..Headed home,showered and slept like a baby till 11 plus.

2006-04-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

Recap - School week -

Monday: A great start to a new semester. Was super duper happy to see my buddies and the touch girls.They did a super excellent job at the recruitment drive.Had a wet training day due to the rain. We kept playing still.Had dinner at LJS century square.Home.Hogged the phone.MSN.Sleep.

Tuesday: School started at 11,lucky me. Skipped first lecture.Den it was pretty much classes till 1.Lunch.Classes.Rushed home just to find out that my tutee cancelled on me.Chillout with mum home.HOgged the Tv.MSN.Hogged the phone.Sleep.

Wednesday: RecruitmentDrive-I'm in charged! Had a slow start.Milo.Ciggie.Back to booth. Hung out and recruited pple for touch.Our booth looks more like a social rugby booth than a recuitment booth cos everyone was chilling out even the guys.HAKA moment for the boys.Great!Late lunch with deedee-yummy chicken curry.Rushed back for tuition.Poor aidil had to have dinner alone.Met up with Hafiz,he couldnt believe i carried a huge cardboard all the way form TP to clementi.Home.Sleep.

Thursday: 815am timecheck for my first lesson.Realise i needed new pair of shoes.School as usual.Pre-training;Cardmaking session,cant believe i made it.Gift wrapping.Training;no drills..played touch all the way.Post-training;Marli's birthday surprise,whipped cream attack!Rugby clinic discussion.Showered.Home sweet Home.Hogged the phone.Sleep.

Friday: TGIF! Still lessons start at 8am.12pm left for tekka market with Fairuz and Fizah.Chicken Briyani and coke light.Made our walk to mustaffa centre.3pm made our back home.

Thank god i made it through the week.Couldnt wait for nextweek.Guessing it'll be better...looking forward to rugby clininc and skipping lectures and classes.

2006-04-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

i've been couting down the days to the new semester...It's a great feeling but I'm kinda sad that i wont have much time to relax anymore...but new semester,new challenges and that means a whole new level of adrenline rush.Looking forward to a whole new season of mad-rush datelines,assignments and mugging.I can safely say that I miss school! okok,calm down.And this means i get to organize...hurray!Coming from somone who's abit obsessed for post-its and stationeries...And Thanks mum for the gym ball,i love it!

2006-04-22T15:08:00.000+08:00

Ridiculous pics of me, Hafiz and Gf at Sakae sushi

i didnt plan to get all shagged out from going swimming yesterday and doing house chores today. I did the unthinkable this morning...I ditch aidil to say i was nt feeling well..these days i feel totally deprive of sleep...i think i've spent too many nights awake and out of bed,staring at the laptop and surfing the net. I've been doing some catching up with old pals see how they're doing.Strangely,I miss being in Hafiz's company...my friend and confidante. He's back in school,I'm just so proud of him..I suppose he'll have less time for us to hangout now becos he has to juggle school,gf and other stuff.

Something funny happened yesterday,a series of unforseen events.SOmehow one thing lead to another and i pretty much think that i have made a guy smitten and fall for me..It's quite amusing actually considering all this while we've just been chatting on msn.The more i try to run away from all this love antics the more it comes to me..I'm just happy that i still have friends to keep grounded..

2006-04-21T02:08:00.000+08:00

Back on track...

I suppose it isn't the same when you blog on other space than on blogger. I think i should just stick to blogger.Anyways I'm back and i got so much to tell..hell i got nothing to hide..so keep ur eyes peel for whats to unfold..Cheers!

2005-06-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

Cheers to Singles!

My first ever non-miserable entry. Well,Rab i'm honouring you and Jon for this.Thanks to you guys for waking me up from my nightmare(well,jon did call me a weakling!). Anyways,yesterday was a total nightmare..i shall not elaborate cos i'm apparently still traumatise over what happen. It was the best evening i had though.Met up with Fiza and god i miss her like hell since the KL thing.We had fun with Rab,izwa(funny and entertaining),Shy(she's super sweet).Haha..spend like the whole time bitching and girl-talking at Starbucks at Wheelock.The best time I had. I'm slowly recovering from being lame to ME again(hurray!).I'm surprisingly frens with an aquaintance of the EX..haha..Dont ask me i didnt how that happen.He's fun and someone i can talk to.He's also experincing a break up..so my heart goes out to him..well,basically i'm just glad to annouce that i'm single and happy and loving it.. but still traumatise..to FIza thanks for saving me girl!

2005-05-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

---untitled---

i'm finally back in school and dragging my butt to school in the morning is just something i haven't accustomed myself to.I've been feeling rather insecure about myself and i feel the need to re-invent myself..i realise how i've been leading my live..there's always a certain need for me to compete against somebody else in my own element and the funny part is i'm being rather myself.I have no freaking idea wat the hell to do animore.I guess people do get on my nerves and they probably have issues themselves and i'm the one being a fool to think otherwise.Well,it's funny how my day is..there's this guy whom i call the bustop dude..and yea i havent seen him since our last day of school before hols..i saw after swimming just now and shit he looks so hottt! He was practically checking me out(oh well he was looking at me will i ate mee-siam like a pig). And when we finished,he practically smiled at me..awwww...ok down girl down!Pretty much made my day..aargh..i'm stuck at the library before my next Jap culture lecture..wat a chore!I wish i had elected for french at least it's tot in pure english!oh well just my luck..laters!

2005-05-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

it going to be my last day in thailand and pretty much sad to leave this place.I pretty much enjoy being here.It's so much more fun and everything is cheap and great and not to mention the food,woah! So yeah,after being here for such a period of time i guess you do get use to the whole place.But alast,i have to go back to singapore and start the new school term.Darn! I'm probably pretty more piss about gg back rather than running out of money here.Rab's been great to me and she pretty much tolerated every shit crap dat i'm facing..so thanks and sorry to rab for being such an angel.Like i said i couldn't actually find a better partner to travel to this.Well a little note to me would be to save up more money before planning to go somewhere and it's pretty shitty and a bunch of crap not to have enough money to spend.I guess i will just have to do more lunches with rab on weekly basis to make up for everything she shared and paid for during the trip.well,dats pretty much it,we're just waiting to meet up with jon before we leave tomorrow,he's really nice so yea it's proper to say goodbye before we leave.

2005-05-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

Sawadeekaaa---greetings in thailand oh make that from thailand!

hey peps i'm doing fine and apparently bquite happy in bangkok.I just can't believe i did all that travelling on train.The funny thing was i met an american guy whose apparently speaks thai and he's really eccentric..rab is like so into him ..well den there's this english guy who was a foreign exchange in NUS and that he's great.We're in thailand but we're around ang mohs.Well,thailand is quite modern the last time i saw it.I which was great and i love it here and i think i gg to come back.Right now i'm gg to enjoy the rest of the trip and get to you guys..enjoy and may god bless you..like they say in england cheers!

2005-05-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

this is the last entry before i leave for thailand.I'm scared stiff about going away without my family for a week.oh but if it's any consolation to me,i'll be meeting one of my cousin in bangkok but he'll be there only on the 18th.I'm overly excited and overly overwhelmed and this trip is budget one so dont expect me coming home bearing gifts!!i cannot believe i woke super early today...i went to get the digital camera and i'm praying hard my cousin won't give birth without me while i'm gone.Everyone seems pessimistic about me going and i guess yea,it's for my well-being.But i should return with a new me but before i leave there's something i have yet to tell;
i have been waiting for a long while but i have found u at last,you've been in and out of my life i actually forgot how good look and how much i love your smile.I havent been in touch with u but i hope u could wait for me,because it took us long to find our way back to each other only to find ourselves in someone else's arms. i'll be gone for now but i'll never forget you i hope you could hold on now because in our hearts you know we are destine to be....
so people,pray me safe and god bless you for those star wars fans out there may the force be with you! OMG,how dramatic can i be?!

2005-05-09T16:02:00.000+08:00

----SAWADEE---

i can't believe it, my tickets are booked and so are the accomadation.Going On trip away from home wif RAb..wohooo! I can't believe it...at this point i'm already thinking of the shopping we're marathoning thru' there. Not to mention my crazy plans to take rab to hua hin beach..so girl don't forget ur bikini yea,we're soaking up the sun.I'm guessing we'll be home sick in the train ride but not when we arrive in thailand..sawadeekaa. It finally boils down to this,a week in counting or to be exact 5 days before i meet rab in KL and take a connecting train ride to bangkok..that'll be fun. I'll just have to prolly miss her for 5 days before i see her..and before all the chaos breaks loose i still have a million things to do...so guys adios amigos!

2005-05-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

............

i'm counting the days to my thai trip with rab we havent plan anything yet..we just prolly go out and explore.Well the goo news i passed supp paper that was a relief.Tot i couldnt do it.Watched a late nite movie with halijah yesterday,it was fun and i suffered headaches from watching in the front row..the funny part was it rated R21 and i didnt even know..Summerstorm is a great foreign film i'm already gearing for the vcd to come out...Congrats to rab for passing the driving thing..well dats abt it enjoy the hols!

2005-04-23T00:32:00.000+08:00

Insomniac on the loose!

I find that my days have been passing by as slowly as it has. I was being nice towards my very pregnant cousin today.I was the first visitor in the room,she had me buying sandwiches and snapple for her breakfast.I getting less and less consious abt my well being even as i'm typing this entry.Very sorry to Rab for cancelling on lunch didn't know my cousin was getting discharge,she's like a sister so i had to help her out since evryone's working.I'm getting use to not have him call dat i take my own time to do everything which in a way is kinda refreshing.Ok,rite now i have nothing to say. i guess being insomnic is really getting to me...help i need a cure!oh and not to mention,due to lack of sleep i'm bloody getting zits on my face!

2005-04-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

post mortem.....

ok it might sound dramatic but dats what i alwaes do after a paper.Sometimes, i just swear i wouldnt but i don't care.I think i did well for the supp paper but i shall choose not to dwell on it.Bad news;my pregnant cousin's in the hospital...i pray for her well being.I guess we were anticipating the baby too much that for some reason he could hear and decided to come out early.No news yet,there might be a possibility of a premature delivery but it's not confirmed.We're all pretty excited though..it's a long a waited one! I have been going through a rough few days. Gawd,i need retail therapy!Need either clothes or shoes would love that or that leather clutch dat I saw while browsing thru topshop with halijah. I really hope to pass my supp paper or i'll be stuck in EMATHS1 next term.OK,forget about that...i'm really bored now,watching EPL highlights on channel 5,thinking what to wear and wat to bring to the hospital tomorrow. He hasn't call or message but i'm not surprise..hahaha..ok den,good morning!

2005-04-18T10:37:00.000+08:00

I've had it!

I reached breaking point yesterday..what else could be worst?!I can't believe he actually thinks i'm being soo bimbotic over my hair.It was so dumb!He started a fight about my attitude change ever since i got my do.How I makes him feel low and have no sense of fashion. He said i should just stop trying to play dress up becuase he's jealous.And he came up with other shit stuff about how i'm with the wrong guy and i was never the one whose gunning for our relationship.I told him that he should think before he said something..i can't believe it actually comes to this! He actually said i made him he feel very low all the time because i'm always outshinning his introvert personality. He says dat everything since we met and got together has always been abt ME! I might be an extrovert and be a bitch at times,but i'm not that selfish...i'm not dat heartless.It's thru that i have expectations but if act on it because i'm chasing it what am i still doing here?I guess he feels as if he can't hold up a candle to me or he's scared of something..blame me all you want. I guess i deserve it but i haven't even don't anything to offend him..so i guess i really had it...

2005-04-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

i can't help feeling helpess...

i somehow can't seem to get studying..my brains are like taking a holiday right now.But no,i must strive hard to pass my supp paper.I can't stop now,i don't want to repeat that class.Ok,i will study after this..i pray i will.Maybe doing laundry will help me to start studying.It always works.Ermmm, haven't been hearing or meeting up with her these days.Kinda miss her,she's like my mojo...but i guess both of us will be busy for this few weeks do to exams and watnots.Ok rab,good luck for all your paper yea! To HUda,sorry i cancelled on u today..got supp paper to study for, but i'll see u next week!i guess datsabout it....pray for me!

2005-04-15T19:03:00.000+08:00

Exhaustion!

I'm starting to wear out.All my energy is drain.I'm not really sure what is causing it.I'm bloody screwed,i'm just abt to start revision for supp paper which happen to be only five days away.But i'm determine to pass it!And so i shall..reading rab's blog certainly reminded me of myself and how ur past actually comes to haunt u in the future.There's always that temptation to go back and relive that past. But if there's one to learn, never ever trust the past and move ahead.I learnt that the hard way.I use to not be able to move on and face reality,always staying back and waiting to see if the past would come back but when it does it totally blows u off.So i learnt to always take reality face on.Hey,u can never know what might just happen rite? I'm actually starting to like my new hairdo..i've never seen my curls going on full blast. Well,i guess they say it's always worth it when u get a professional and expensive haircut! Bugger off!

2005-04-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

curly wurly,fuzzy,wozzy...

I wish i could just leave.I'm tired and my eyebags are as huge as my eyes.I can't stand him,always getting on my nerves.He was being rude,maybe because he had to wait till i get my haircut.Btw,thanks to leech(halijah) for introducing me to Annie my new hairstylist..she's great.Showed me how to style and wear my hair out..i'm definately going back there again they made my curls curly again,yahooo!. Today was cool,having to spend time with leech and bitching about the old times.That was fun..we even had this two guys checking us out at LJS at cineleisure. Bad i hope he would just go away..i'm tired of trying to do or even say the right thing.He's being such a paranoid sometimes i feel like giving up..i feel shitty and mistreated..argggggh! There's so much angst,i need to get away...

2005-04-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

and so it begins....

Today will be the first day i start mugging for that stupid paper. Gawd, can't believe i actually have to retake it.Well,at least it beats repeating the whole subject.I've been spending too much time on the computer..don't know how it will stop. I change my blog today..was getting so tired of black.I'm going back to school tomorrow for revisions,ermm..must say i've miss being in school and my friends..looking forward to see them.Something weird happen to yesterday...had the strangest dream.Dreamt that i got stuck in a black hole and i'm hearing voices..they were loud but it was strange..i woke to the sound of my mum getting ready to go to work.We had a heated arguement over something stupid..i spend the rest of the night talking shit to my brother..he's starting to corrupt my laptop with all his downloading..i am so going to kill him if it crashes..Looking forward to see huda this saturday,i miss hanging out wit her.The boys made plans too,aliff,fai,vinod and me.Hoping to meet them and catch up on old times.I miss my boyfriend today,couldn't get to him he had to work night shift..the woes of being attached to a policemen. I'm sure he's out having lunch with his friends..it's payday for him..too bad he gonna spend it all on a handphone..god i'm getting bored!

2005-04-11T17:28:00.001+08:00

Haven't been myself...

i haven't been myself lately...i couldn't explain my actions as of lately..i've turn insomnic and i haven't been eating much.Yesterday was the most interesting day of my life..after so long i met him. Him,the guy that stole my heart years back..i was realli put to the test.Somehow along thru the whole time i was with him,i actually forgot what i had with fauzi..i think it was lucky of rab to be there with me or i would have lost it..But i'm glad everything is out in the open..he declared wat was my worst fear...he had feelings for me..i wasn't about to cave in..i just prayed it wouldn't come to this..so i jus stayed strong and told him we could just be friends and if anything would happen between us in future so be it..i guess it's really weird how things could happen when u least expect it..but it actually made me think and i realise that some things are out of our hands..rest assured we can do the least to change it..well,looking back towards reality..i need to take supp paper for my maths and dat sucks..i'm going to have to start mugging soon..well at least i will have something to work towards..MY THAILAND trip..rab if u're reading this we have to start planning as soon as your exams are over..well i guess dats about it.cheers!

2005-04-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

Hurray exams are bloody over..Bugger i'm stuck at home rotting for days now..Anticipating my exam results,but i'm confident of taking supp paper,hahaha! Life is filled with TV shows these days and short meetings with rab and my bf...I swear to god i'm turning insomnic...Btw the oc is back and so is one tree hill oh gawd..what do i need to do to end up with either marissa's gardener, ryan or chad micheal murray..oh bloody americans, why do they have to be soooo hottt?! Anyways i have a shoutout to make to someone..namely FAIZULI! Babe,when am i going to get back my vintage adidas sweater? If huda is reading this please pass on and tell him to contact me A.s.a.P..
thank u! To Rab thanks for dragging me out of bed a few saturdays ago to do an assignment with you..i appreciate it very much..you're the best..hey sushi and gossips on thursday aight?!Cheers, have good week guys!

2005-02-23T20:22:00.000+08:00

Hey people..i hope this time round you guys get to read my blog clearly!Rab,this one is for you..thanks for inviting me over to NUS for the netball session and after getting a huge toe on my right foot(it's injured due to wrong foot landing). I just realise that i've been missing alot due to my absence from sports..One thing struck me when i passed by the Src in NUS,along the corridor there was an open door to a place i use to call home.The bouldering wall was like a place of calm and serenity.A place where i made friends,keep friendships alive and relief stress by pumping my adrenalin doing all the impossible routes that was being set by all the mad capped climbers or should i say Hardcore climbers.It's been a while since i've abandoned that place it feels empty but i would still never forget the people who turn against me on that same wall.It's void and filled the feeling of hatred but i'll be back and i will.I bet against my gut i will and i'll come back stronger and better.An overdrive entry for today but we'll talk again tomorrow..btw my toe still hurts like hell!Ciao!

2005-02-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

hey guys..i must say i had a very interesting few days since the last update i posted.Firstly,mum finally got me laptop and my life has become more interesting than usual.Btw,do you guys believe in stars like astrology and odiac and stuff.Like how the stars can predict how bad or how good you day or week could be.Well,I didn't not until recently..Like i said i've been almost suffering from depression and i'm getting symptoms of stress.But the weekend totally change my whole mood and everything that surrounds me.Least to say,i must thanked my lucky stars and most of all God! I guess eventhough i'm way out of the "totally-into-religion" category,I still do my part as i'm suppose to.I still do seek forgiveness and solance for my sins and stuff.Don't get me wrong i'm into faith and god.Well,enough of that..safe to say i'm at the midst of completing my IFC projet which has been rather a burden than an interesting thing for me and my group.Somehow in the thickness of all this,god or rather god and rab has answered my prayers.An opportunity to squeeze sports ito my life back again..i suddenly feel alive.The smell of sweat suddenly doesn't turn me off as oppose to what everyone thinks.Well,i'm going to start small by playing captain's ball with rab and the nus girls..we'll see where we go from there.ok,i should be hitting the books now for the maths quiz 2 tomorrow before i have to see myself fail the subject..ok guys have a good week ahead! Lastly,i wanna give my shoutouts to my former school mate of class 2001 from YISS...AMIN..yes..have a look around the pics are a bit old and do tag me if you actually ade it here.To Huda a.k.a Honey thanks for the sms conversation we had last week,you rock and i miss u..we got lots of bitching to do..Cheers!

2005-02-15T15:10:00.000+08:00

i've been gone on a long hiatus due to school. My updates are long overdue and i don't wish to recap on the valentine's issue.Some have come and some have gone but the fact remain that it's time to do an overhaul.Let's get it started den..first up,the word fun and school could never ever again be mention in the same line.I've been fairly distracted from reality long ago.The fact that my life no longer consists the things that i use to have is very disturbing.My mind and soul is out balance and i'm running out of mojo.I wish to scream help but i guess it's more of an outrage than of an outburst either way it's still the same.Haven't had caffiene in my system for pretty much 365 days and 40 hours..i'm running into datelines and brick walls.I have lost all charm and flirtations on opposite sex which makes me think one think...am i being a paranoid?!I feel very drain and wear out i can't think of what to say and do whenever i think of having fun.It's not a word to be use on daily basis..somehow it escape my verbal dictionary..all i can say is i'm back and hanging but my system's on overdrive..ciao!

2004-08-09T16:21:00.000+08:00

Hey guys here's an update on the upcoming events happenin' in the month of august...

An Indie-Pendent Weekend At Esplanade (a must see for indie fans)
The line-up:
Friday, August 27
7:30 pm Cimanom
8:45 pm Satellite

Saturday, August 28
7:30 pm Phorous
8:45 pm Seranaide
9:45 pm Slowjaxx (Stoned Revivals)

Sunday, August 29
7:30 pm All Countries
8:45 pm Electrico

Each set is 45 minutes in duration. You can also buy CDs and merchandise by the bands at the gigs.

WOMAD
AUGUST 27-29 2004
line up: check www.mtvasia.com

2004-08-09T15:36:00.000+08:00

hey guys i'm so relieve to get away from my busy schedule and actually spend time on the PC. Well it's been awhile..firstly i would like to congratulate my cousin and her husband on their successful wedding occasion and happy honeymoon newlyweds! I hope the wedding bliss will rub off on my elder cousins and take the plunge into marriage land..hehe,good luck. And FYI i would be able to come for the graduation ceremony because of work. God,i cant believe having a wedding can actually suck up all the energy a person holds,i'm so tired that i can't even walk and i haven't slept for two days..well when it's your closest cousin whose getting married you actually do everything possible to make it a perfect wedding. Not to mention i haven't had anytime to myself and of course my boyfriend..well,i'm still downloading all the photos you can preview them all soon..but you definately won't see me inside..i was busy helping out with the guests who came.Btw to Rob i'm so sorry to have not attended your public gigs i was really super busy. To Rabiatul..happy holidays and hope you have fun in indonesia,i'll miss you but a souvenir might cheer me up..hehehe!To all the peeps out there Happy National Day hope you guys have a wonderful holiday and don forget to watch the parade yea?!ok guys cya soon cheers!

UPCOMING EVENTS

Hoobastank The Reason Tour
14 august 2004
Siloso Beach,Sentosa
7.30pm
Tix:surf www.mtvasia.com

Ashlee simpson showcase
Date: Sunday, 15 August, 2004
Time: 4 pmVenue: Skate Park (opposite Orchard Cineleisure),
SingaporeHost: VJ Utt
Want to win exclusive mosh pit tickets and Meet & Greet passes? Find out how below!

For Singapore:Tune in to Perfect 10, 98.7FM during the Morning Madness show with Daniel Ong and Sheikh Haikel, from August 11 - 13

2004-07-26T19:45:00.000+08:00

hey guys..i've totally recovered from the emotional distortion over the weekend..okie just FYI i've loaded a bunch of photos taken from my Digi Cam. There are some old stuff and new stuff in there so take your time to go through all the pics yeah..i hope you guys enjoy it. I'll update you guys about other cool stuff later. To Rab,thanks for being a really good fren i totally enjoy the time and conversations..to Rob..i'm so sorry for not attending your gigs couldnt escape..anyways have y'all take care and cheers!

2004-07-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

hey guys the thought of your soul rotting in a dump is so disgusting. But dats how i feel now, ignored, alone and torn. I'm on a emotional roller coster ride straight to hell. Getting drunk and wasted was not an option . But the joy of being free and losing yourself in it is like ecstasy. I wonder if anyone would actually offer me an option like keanu reeves did in the devil 's advocate with al pacino. The fact that i've been through changes like hormonal changes is new. I feel like my femme instincts has been screaming and kicking to get out. The fact that i pay more i attention to wat kind of clothes and even lingerie wear is like Paris Hilton turning 13 or something. And of course the gahstly sight of belmishes and acne on my face is becoming an irritant. Maybe i sholud go for extreme makeover. Dat way i could change how i look, BUt it's definately a big risk...i guess i'm just talking trash now..i'm in total denial of myself at the moment. I just do not know wat i want in life..well ciao for now..cheers!

2004-07-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

hey guys...oh those of you guys who're still in school Happy Schooling!Hope you guys enjoyed the month-long break..the euro's over my salute to the euro 2004 winners-Greece..you were truly the underdogs!And to those of you people who want me to link your blog from mine pleaze tag me with your URLs ok.There's a bunch of stuff going on in the month of July...here's a list of what's in my head:
July Happenings
1. Sheila on 7 Gig (promo-Pria Terhebat)
Venue:Downtown east marquee
Date:11 July 2004
Time:3.30pm
Tickets: I got mine for free(free standing)
check out berita minggu for more news on tickets!

2.Reggae Fiesta
Venue:Siloso Beach,sentosa
Date:31 July 2004
Tickets:$32 available @ Rastafari

Hey guys if you guys wish to up your own happenings do tag me or email me with your details and i'll try to circulate the word around.Ok back to me...Basically as you all knoe life is not like a box of chocolates.I'm job hunting at the moment my GPA could get me into SP but I want to take a year off and go travel..but considering the current asset i have it wouldn't be enough..have to find a suitable adaptable job..any suggestions?Btw i've been working at the ITE HQ for a while and pays quite ok.To everyone who knows me,I'm non-smoker for about a month and a half now but then i still have a long way to go.My boyfriends nuts about me losing weight and my sudden lost of interest in food after i quit smoking.Advise to smokers:the only motivation you need to quit is to calculate the amount of money you'll save and what you could use it on.So far, i've manage to buy a pair of vans original slip ons from US and i don't plan on wearing soon...not to mention i spend about $250 on Lacoste and Polo collared tees last week my mum's going on a spree to.Ok guys, gotta go. I'm going to have dinner at newton with a bunch of my friends and my mum....good luck for the future to the fellow graduates and to newly appointed 2nd year students,cherish your school year while you still can..hey take it from me,i miss school man!Haha c u guys soon.Cheers peps! :P

Here's the lead singer of sheila on 7 - Duta

2004-06-24T17:56:00.000+08:00

Hey guys sori for not updating in awhile...a big shout out to Honey and Torak..Guys thanx for always checking out my blog Yea!Hey honey,so sori i haven't looking u up..i'm pretty buzy looking for a job. Btw i juz came back from a trip to tioman la..the good news is the weather is fucking nice the bad news is i got too tan hahaha! Well,i can see the EURO 2004 has cause chaos and football fans have been going out looking like zombies!Btw I'm supporting ENGLAND and the underdogs Czech Republic..salute to Milan Barros for his great looks and goals!Oh yea,you girls shuld tune in sooner or later.Btw if u happen to want to tune in...so sorri most of the hunks are on their flight home...but i've compiled my own list of hunks and the best part their all young,rich,play good soccer and god damn good-looking...

Fernando Torres..20 yers-old not so cute in this photo

Milan Barros..the wonderkid from Liverpool

Cristiano Ronaldo..he tops the list with the schoolboy look

that was basically my list and guys dun worri i get some updating routine planned by next week yea..look for some cool stuff and updates..cheers!

2004-06-07T15:54:00.000+08:00

hey guys, the thought of graduation might seem interesting but trust me its's not..Well,dats because i'm fucking broke and looking for a job to pay for my bumming expenses.My thailand trip totally went blank - I definately miss out this time.I basically took a rain check.Haha i'm actually bored to death..right now.Pumpfest was alrite. Did some socialising in between events..so dats cool.Ct has totally went MIA on me..i tried to contact her but to no avail did she returned any of my msgs...darn bitch!
i'm just bumming around.Basically nothing much on my agenda till i find a job dat is..haha.Cya,cheers!

2004-05-13T09:20:00.000+08:00

hey guys...guess who's back? Haha,its good to be back in my sunny singapore..like they say there's no place like home.I guess it's quite true.Btw my time in KL was 50-50 ok..haha.Well here's the loadowns on my KL trip..DAY 1 : Arrived in KL around 9.30pm took a cab and headed down to Melia Ascotts hotel kuala lumpur..the view from our room was breathtaking..we could actually see the petronas twin towers.Then dinner was basically room service..i had a huge meal of chicken chop with salad and teh tarik(courtesy of the mama shop across the road,hehe).My mum den decided to stay in the room and watch cable with aunts while me and my cousin went out clubbing at nuvo and the beach bar. I guess i had a drink too many i almost barff on my last bottle of Corona Extra..but i manage to keep my pride cos it was a false alarmed..DAY 2 : It was really early in the morning about 8 a.m and we just had about 2 hours of sleep...we had to shower and evrybody decided we should travel back to singapore taking the KTM(train).We travel to KL sentral taking the monorail(their version of LRT)..had breakfast at the train station..yummy! Nasi lemak and teh tarik..yum.yum!Den we're off to shopping@Suria KLCC,this place is HUGE abt 8 storeys high and filled with designer couture boutiques(i tot it would be fun but it was torment!)Haha,my mum and my 2nd aunt almost bought the whole POLO Ralph shop..my third aunt went scarf hunting cos HERMES was having a huuuge Sale on their silk scarfs..me?I was chilling at Olio Dome after just trying on 2 Polo shirts..at abt 4pm we travel down to Petaling Street(ahh,this branded imitation heaven for those who cant afford the ORIGINALs)God,moore shopping..darn it!My mum just had this thing about using me as a bargain tool(cos i'm darn good at it..)after a dozens of LVs and Pradas later we decided to call it a day.DAY 3 : Breakfast at 9 a.m...more shopping at jln mesjid india,Lot 10 and all around Jln Bukit bintang...lunch at Fish & Co...the glamour gurls continued they shopping while i checked out the Roxy boutique down at sungai wang..abt 2 hours we headed back to the hotel started packing..9pm checkout and the concerige service drove us down to Petaling Jaya to get dinner and straight to KL sentral to catch the 10.30pm train back to singapore..Yup that was basically a brief tour of my trip to KL.The funny part was i didnt even buy a single thing during the shopping binge that i went through. Haha u guys should have seen the customs reaction to the bags i had to carry into the singapore customs..i look like santa claus..and guess wat? My mum's gonna head back to KL in june...arggghh!Btw i'm now counting the days to graduation..i guess my post graduation hols will be spent looking for a job,working out for the upcoming compeitions,more climbing(yahhooo!),bumming around the house and i guess trips to sentosa..HAHAHAHA...school's out.Okie guys till next time...all the best for the exams!Cheers..the pics of KL will be up soon..watch out for it!

2004-05-06T11:38:00.000+08:00

haha...kassia meador my idol..the coolest longboard surfer in the world...thanks to fai for helping me put up this pic..cheers babe!To all the chics out there:The latest summer collection for Roxy is out now but products are from the US continent so check them out!

2004-04-29T09:19:00.000+08:00

Hey ya...this week totally sucks! I couldnt come to think of a more boring week than this. It couldnt get any worst. Well,except for the weekend to come cos i'm going on a shopping trip to KL with my mum. Hurray,SHOPPING TRIP! But i would have chosen to go to Ledang with Ijat. But what's three days of shopping trip will except scream..FUN! Haha,i'm practically in class drooling over the newest stuff i'm gonna grab hold off at Petaling Street. I guess i wouldnt have enough time to visit Summit Valley to chack out the rock gym. Talking about it make my palm sweat. I'm like so gonna go on a FISH & CO. binge...Ok,this is for the gurls..cool places to check out if u happen to be in KL..
1. Lot 10 - it has about 10 -12 factory outlets which sells branded rejected goods at a very low price...u can also get stuff like GAP, American Eagle oufitters and some other american brands that Singapore dont carry.
2. Petaling Street - Branded Imitation goods Paradise. Here, u get ur Faux LVs, Guccis, Christian Dior..u get everything from bags, shoes to shades and even LEVI's everything starts high but dont forget to bargain!
3. KLCC - Make sure u have enough money that can lasts you rite about 24hrs because this place is huge plus, WARNING: Glamour GIRLS...they have their own JIMMY choos boutique. U get everything from depatmental stores to restaurants here. The twenty four hour cash might be spent within an hour so bring backup.
4. Jln Mesjid India - Bohemian Chics this is a shoppers paradise for u...they sell everything gypsy here. Scarfs,dangling earrings,pesants tops and bottoms...HEAVEN!
5. Quiksilver sungai Wang - Located just directly opposite LOT 10..this is a one stop shopping store for the surfer chics...the roxy boutique is located on the second floor of the big store...bring more cash here cos the shoes and flops are really cheap cos they come direct from Australia...haha,cool designs never seen before in singapore...dont splurge on the clothings too much..they might cost more than the ones in s'pore. Choose wisely gurls...
I guess my frequent visits to KL makes me so familiarize with the places..for the guys..tag along with the gurls on their shopping trips..u might as well do some shopping urself. If not den check out the clubs like THE BEACH BAR, NUVO, ORANGE-KL's version of ZOUK, BackRoom...btw all the clubs spins R'n'B n Hiphop music it's a BIG thing in KL. Ok guys,have a good larbor Day weekend and i'll update more on my KL trip soon. Cheers!

2004-04-22T09:25:00.000+08:00

hey guys, i'm back with a new blogskin...cool eh?! Well tell everyone to check it out...to anyone who wants to have their link posted on my bloG, please tag me with your blog link k?! NEWS FLASH:to all those peps who don't read the news...
NICOLL HIGHWAY COLLASPED! And yesterday,my bf got called up to the site. Sianz ah..i was suppose to go out with him..Well,duty calls! Btw FYI, i'm relief over my project presentation...everything went smoothly yesterdae(dats,what I tot). Haiya, still got video and entrepreneuship project..shit man! Okla,i guess to bring u guess out ur misery from my nuisance ramblings..i shall take a stand and say...guys,this the time where s'poreans shuld stick together and pray for the best!Anyways..cheers!

2004-04-19T10:37:00.000+08:00

hey guys..sorry for not updatong as often. NOwdays my i'm just so busy i dont even have time to update my schedule.Haha,btw our annual ITE track n field finals is on 20th march 2004,so wish me luck. These days my internet surfing hours has totally depleted.But after next i'll be back and updating my blog as per normal..good my whole body is aching...the whole sprinting and trainning for track finals is basically killing me. Anyways, things are fine between me and my beau...we are now together for 4 months..I hope to spend more time with him after graduation. Cos i've been too busy with my climbing and track trainning and it doesnt help dat i see him only twice a week for onli a few hours. But i guess we'll be spending more time together after my graduation...yeah! We going thailand....ciao for now..

2004-03-10T08:59:00.000+08:00

hey guys sori for the delay in uploading of the photos and updating my journal. I didnt have a good week obviously. This week has been like hell...especially with the projects dateline around the corner. But all prevail and i manange to complete the Common Project Report and the software development.Hahahaha, victory is sweet. I havent been out much, it's like world war in my household. Everyonr is mentally depressed and basically at the tip of their nerves. Anyways, to will mark a special day in calendar cos my bf will have he's passing out parade..
wohuuuu!Couldnt feel any happier for him. For the record due the sappy weather and a bug i've contracted i've decided to lay low in the nicotine department. Do you know that the ciggie price have risen to about 10 freaking bucks?! Shit by the time it's 2006 ciggies will cos about 20 bucks per pack. Well, i guess it's the government's way of telling the smokers,"you can save more money by quitting.Ciggies are bad and think of the money you'll save in years to come." Ah what crap...maybe they should just ban smoking altogether and let the smoking community die.Then they'll actually save money because cost of living for a smaller population will depleat. This is such a controversial issue. I doubt the government will actually hack into this blog and try to sue me. I mean c'mon, this is an online journal;it is the latest fad. Well, i guess i'll leave you guys some to ponder on that note, because if i go on any longer we might as well start a protest. Hehehe,okie guys have good week and to all my pals have a good holidays next week and remember to psyche yourself for the 3D max studio assignment. And in case if i dun see you guys, good morning,good evening and good night! Cheers...

2004-03-03T12:19:00.000+08:00

hey guys...due to the mounting compeition preps i've been too busy to update my blog..Anyways the past week has been a very hectic one.I had the SWCDC comp frm the 27-28 feb. Then i had the big family trip tp kota tinggi (for my cousin's wedding prep). I hardly have anytime to myself.Well except for saturday..btw i did win 3rd for my compeition..i met up with fauzi got home abt 11plus den decided to go clubbing.Hahaha, i got so shagged i could still feel it now. It doesnt help that i have climbing today.To those of u who are waiting for the SWCDC pics..please be patient cos i have a slight problem with my photo album..so it'll be up the end of this week.So come here often for daily updates.Some events coming up are:
1.6th annual roxy pro ASP
2.boulder challenge @ safra bukit merah
I guess dats all for now. My assignments are amounting and guys please be patient with the photos k. It'll be up soon. I'll post a msg at the tagboard once evrything is done.Cheers mate!

2004-02-23T09:30:00.000+08:00

hey guys...haha,it was a good weekend for me! Success n victory of a good weekend is sweet.Ok,lets see...first up:Saturday- Woke up super duper early to meet up with my baby for the first time in about 10 days since we last met. Spend the next 8 hours at sentosa n chilling out at the beach. Dinner was accompanied by his bunk mates. Sunday:Hung out at woodlands den went over to chill somewhere near my place...so u see eventhough it was only two days i definately wanted to spend every spare time with him. Ok let's stop with the whole bf thing. Another thing,u guys wanna check out my new killer tan.Hahaha..it's a shame i wasnt in a bikini if i was i would get an even tan. Anyways wanna tell all those fashion freaks whose checkin this out about a sale.Hurray,more reasons to shop! Ok,there's a sale at john little@woodlands causeway point. The Big Catch--lycra coloured tees are sold at $6.90/ea. Drawstrings which are beachlike are sold in cool colours..3/4 length are going for $19 and full length for $23. It's a grab for beach bummers so go get it. Ok,for those glam girls u wanna checkout this online mag-www.seventeen.com it's cool!Aight peps..nothing much for the boys except baseball tees are sold for $12 at peninsula for good quality it's going for $18. I guess dats about it..tag me on me board if u want more details.Btw wanna give a loud shout out to Vinod,HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!Cheers mates!

2004-02-18T09:17:00.000+08:00

I counted the days,i counted the nights
I even counted the mins,secs n hours when ur not by myside
It pains my heart when ur not around
Sounds like a scene frm a movie i've seen time over time
It hurts me more just to hear you n not have u near
Cos' your my life n the one thing i hold most so dear
I use to be so selfish n not have a care in the world
But that's over now cos i have you as the one i love.....

gosh guys...sorry for the whole sappy start. God,i'm so melodramatic. Such drama queen.I guess day by day the whole relationship makes my female instinct kick in.Ok maybe half instinct n alot of other teenage hormones. I guess u get to that point when ur at that age.I'm starting to feel very dressy lately..it helps that i'm link to a bunch of teenmags online.For all those who very classy n love clothes or designers...u guys should check out teenvogue.com. I even holistically put as my homepage.But i just have a weird fashion sense.I'm into the whole vintage look. Because i dont wanna look like i came straight out of a magazine page.Vintage is about mix n match and the look is not so clean.I jus like mixing chuck taylors n a pair of vintage faded jeans with a nice blouse...the aftereffect is just casually pretty.Alright i'm talking about all this because i dont wanna bore u guys with anymore sappy I-mis-my bf confessions.I decided not to dwell on it.Since my bloG projects a rockchic image..i might as well represent some of that presentation.Ok peps,i'll guess dats all for now...take care,fight for peace in the world(but dont be an activist n go against the government,aight?!)cheers mate!!

2004-02-17T18:07:00.000+08:00

haiya...another one of those bad days.Just for the record,i didnt even go school todae.Must be the lazy bug..i wake 11plus just to find myself going back to sleep.I heard from vinod that PE was cancelled,thank god!Anyways i just logged in n surfing around..not to mention doing the survey asked me to.I have to edit some stuff n complete by tomorrow before jack gets pissed,hehe!Anyways i had an ok day..i was suppose to go down to school for extra climbg session(some sort of a remedial but in climbing ways).I just cant dragg myself out of the house of course.Quite satisfied with the number of people visitg this blog.Haha big thanks to evryone. Well,i'm getting bored need to get something to eat..my brain can't process anything with empty stomach. Well guys,dats all for todae pretty dry but i'll cya guys soon,FYI i still miss my boyfren to death!!Cheers mate!

2004-02-16T09:39:00.000+08:00

hey guys...to those of u who celebrated V~dae congrats for those of u who didnt...i feel for u. God,i had like the worst weekend of all weekends. I couldnt actually bring myself to get out of the house. Everything just went chaos. I guess faith just played a cruel joke on me.I didnt see my baby for almost a week n the situation just makes it more worst. My perfect full-proof valentine's weekend couldnt even escape the clutches of a whole weekend of family time.Darned!I'm just so piss for seeing him dat it gets to the point of us arguing. I guess the whole arguing thing is a norm but i still cant face the fact that i didnt see him for a whole solid week....btw i just got caught smoking by a muthafucker.Well,i couldnt care less..he cant torture me for all i care. I just want to see my baby.That's more than a torture i could take.It seems absolutely selfish that i have never had to feel this way till now. It's a weird n wonderful feeling all together.A milion cigarettes still cant explain the way i feel. I piss Fai off by not bringing my adidas sweater. That's all my brother's fault,he just keep saying it's at work n he totally forgot abt it. I mean seriously dude,dat's just lame...n fai is so not buying into the excuses.God,now i 'm freaking piss at myself.Wat a bad weekend n a bad week to start off with...ok gotta go..need to do a freaking 3D test. Cheeers!!!

2004-02-12T14:25:00.000+08:00

i'm actually contemplating of whether i want be in the class or not?!I guess i wouldnt have it any other way cos i would rather b in an aircon rm than outside under the super hot blazing weather.I couldn't help but think abt this weekend. I jus dunno wat to do or where to go.I guess my baby should have it all covered. I havent had a second pass by without thinking of him...i'm seriously trying to commit to this one.Considering the many bad relationships n flings i had, i guess this time it's for real. I'm bz typing away while the entrepreneuship teacher blabs about some business insurance stuff.I couldnt careless.Aliff is sleeping and the rest of the gang is bz setting up their website for the IA. We had lunch at the clementi hawker centre. I dint have anything to fill my tummy except vinod's chicken rice soup n the bandung drink i bought. We hung out at clementi's Macdonald's till abt 12plus. We headed back to school n chillout somemore at reading room. Gawd,class is ending at 5 todae...sux. I still have a couple more stuff to do like project,reports n prep for KL X'games trip with the climbers..yea!Something to look forward to. Buut other than that,there's nothing happy abt life now except for wanting to spend more quality time with my baby. Ok,i knoe missing him is not gonna do me any good but than wat can i do?I really miss him to death. I have a huge money crisis going on now.I got a lot to pay for like my climbing shoes the crash pads n more stuff awaiting my purchase on my shopping list. I have strave n dat too couldnt help me pay out the finances.Well, i jus gotta keep saving till i pay them all off.But for now Happy advance valentine's day to those who are celebrating n hv a gd weekend for those who are not.That's all for now...cheers mate!

2004-02-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

hey guys...i'm turning insane over my website n blogg.Well for anyone who happens to be reading this..please do me a big favour by visiting my linked website..i really need this cos it's for my school assignment for some lame teacher.Well,life's taking its toll on me..the whole climbing and prep for the upcoming comps..god,only knows.Besides that i'm not gonna see my baby boy this week cos i'm suppose to spend time with my mum..sux but then aagin she is my maternal mum.I'm suppose to be doing my project but somehow i'm in contempt n too engrossed doing other stuff. I'm suddenly self-contained to glue to my BloGspot n writing in my journal..i guess being a very soul-searching gal allows me to do that. But than again i'm a soul searcher in karma..physically i'm like a she-male,very masuline to exact. Lately,i've been more of a femme fatale n materialistic gurl than sporty.I guess it's just a nice time to be in love..to love n to be love in return..Well,i'm starting to go crazy over vintage fashion all over again...i guess once i have enough cash i'll be heading to the nearest thrift store(secondhand clothg store).My boyfren's starting to go crazy over vintage stuff too courtesy of my influence...hahahaha,victory is sweet..love is in the air..so guys go out n spread the love..Make peace n love Not War..cheers!

2004-02-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

Aight now peps...at least now i got a freaking idea how do to this blogger thing..just need to find a tagboard,add alittle photos n some music..god i must be really out of my freaking mind. I guess having a blog really help people to speak their minds n not get dissed(if they dont have tagboards).But it still doesnt change the fact that i miss my baby(my beau) a lot. I guess u must not knoe a lot abt me if jus read this but i'll try though. To all my fellow members...hahaha..fuck,i still have no bloody mood to do the project and report cos i'm updating my freaking blog!Ok now,bugger off...cheers!Darn,my freaking arm still hurt from climbing yesterday.

2004-02-10T10:05:00.000+08:00

sux..i dunn even knoe how to do this thingy...crap..shit, now must crack my head to design this bloody blogger..hahahaha